How To Make A Memorable Impression At A Writers Conference

How To Make A Memorable Impression At A Writers Conference

© Gordon Kirkland

As we enter summer, many people will be signing up for writers conferences. I have been a speaker and workshop leader at dozens of conferences all over North America, and every time I think I've seen it all, I discover that I am wrong. (It's OK, I'm a husband. I'm used to being wrong.)

It’s not difficult to make yourself stand out from the crowd at a writer’s conference or workshop. Over the years, speaking at a great many such events, I have observed that there are certain, sure-fire ways of making a memorable impact on the faculty and other attendees.

It just might not be the impact you are hoping to make.

I have witnessed aspiring writers displaying each and every one of the behaviors listed below, and I can assure you that I will never forget them.

1. If you don’t like the answer you are given, ignore it.

If a book editor tells you that the idea you want to pitch does not fit into the type of books he or she is interested in pursuing, you should just ignore what they are saying. Keep after that editor throughout the conference, because you know full well that they are willing to make an exception for you.

They just don’t know it yet.

2. Use every opportunity to talk to agents, editors and speakers

Always remember that these people are usually being paid to be at the conference and you are the one paying to be there. As a result, they should have absolutely no expectation of privacy during the course of the conference.

If you see an editor or an agent standing at a urinal, it’s the perfect opportunity to make an extra pitch for your book. After all they aren’t going anywhere for a minute or two, are they? If you see a speaker go into a restroom stall, take the next one, and strike up a conversation.

If a conference faculty member is sitting alone going over his or her notes in the hotel restaurant at breakfast, sit down and join them. There’s no need to ask if they mind. They’d much rather spend the time discussing your grandchildren’s latest accomplishments, your views on the current state of the publishing industry, or your erotic/science fiction/fantasy/romance/spy thriller than waste it making sure they are prepared for their presentation.

3. Use your agent or editor appointment to evangelize.

We’ve all heard the old adage about the fact that it isn’t what you know, it’s who you know. Be sure to tell the agent or editor that God or Jesus has told you that your book will be a best seller. Ask to start off your appointment by holding hands and praying together for the enlightenment that your book will bring to all who read it.

4. Line-ups are for other people.

When you see a long line of conference attendees waiting to have a book signed by one of the speakers, don’t think for a moment that you need to go to the end of the line. Walk right up to the side of the table and start talking to the author, even if he or she is engaged in a conversation with another attendee. Obviously, whatever you have to say is far more important than whatever the person who has actually gone to the effort of purchasing a book and waited in line to have it signed is saying.

5. If a line-up can’t be avoided, slow it down.

Sometimes it just isn’t possible to avoid having to get in a line-up at the conference book signing event. If you find yourself in that situation, don’t feel compelled to keep your comments or questions for the author brief to allow those behind you in line to have their turn sometime within the decade. The authors will remember you longer if you give them an even greater opportunity to talk to you by not bothering to purchase a book that they will have to waste time signing.

6. Leave no conversation between attendees uninterrupted.

If you see a conversation going on between two or more other attendees, make sure to join in and, at the earliest opportunity, change the topic to something much more interesting than the dull and boring subject that they may have been discussing. They will be much happier talking about you and your writing project than they ever could be having a discussion of their own choosing.

7. If a one drink is good, ten are better.

Some conferences provide social events that give everyone an opportunity to relax, enjoy a casual conversation, and enjoy a drink. If you have the opportunity to attend one of these, pour back as many drinks as possible in the shortest period of time. After all, everyone knows that the only truly successful writers are ones who drink to excess. Be sure that everyone in the room is fully aware of your consumption abilities, just as soon as you find a seat to collapse into while attracting as much attention as possible. If the seat you find is on the keynote speaker’s lap, so much the better.

8. Dress for success.

The clothing, accessories, and perfume you choose to wear to a conference are very important in accentuating the impact you will make. Women should expose as much cleavage as possible and wear the shortest skirt available in their closet – even if their cleavage exposing, miniskirt wearing days are twenty or thirty years behind them. Men can never wear too much aftershave. If the dog is still conscious while you are applying your cologne, you haven’t used enough. Arriving at an editor or agent appointment with your fly undone is another sure way to make a statement.

9. Don’t just take advice – give it.

When you meet with an editor, agent or other faculty member, be sure to take the opportunity to give them some advice on their personal lives. They will certainly appreciate hearing that you think they should lose weight, get rid of their beards or mustaches (this is especially appreciated if it is a woman you are talking to), or that they are wearing the wrong colors for their skin tones and hair color. They will appreciate your forthright approach and will no doubt remember you long after the conference is over.

10. Enough is never enough

Many conferences arrange for editors and agents to read a sample of your writing ahead of time, so that they can provide you with a critique of your work, and get a feel for whether or not you would be a good fit for their publishing house or agency. If the guidelines call for a submission of up to thirty pages, be sure to multiply that figure by at least ten. They will appreciate having something the size and weight of an anvil that they are expected to carry with them to the conference for their meeting with you.

Following these rules will make you stand out in the crowd at any writer’s conference. I can certainly attest that they will also make you one of the most talked about and memorable attendees.

You just might not like what is being said.